JUSTICE WEARS A STILETTO

COVER REVEAL!

“No one is regular when it comes to sex.” ~Candor Moore

Secret Service Agent Candor Moore puts her life at risk every day to protect the men and women this country elects to high office. She expects no thanks, would prefer to remain invisible. So when she saves the life of Senator Thomas Kincaid she doesn’t know how to handle his sudden romantic interest in her. Love is messy. Love is unpredictable. Love cannot be controlled. But sex where she can exercise her full Femme Domme nature? Oh, yes.

Thomas can’t stop thinking about the beautiful guardian angel who put her body between him and a bullet—the first woman to spark his interest since his wife died. Candor proves to be a hard sell when he asks her out, and even harder to pin down around commitment. Thomas had never considered himself a sexually submissive man, but for his Mistress Angel’s love, he’ll go all in—which proves to be the key to earning her heart.

BUY LINKS for Spanking the Senator
Amazon US   Amazon UK   Amazon CA   Amazon AU   Barnes & Noble   Kobo

About the Justice Series
Washington, D.C. is full of powerful women. Meet the three most formidable. In Elizabeth SaFleur’s Justice series, meet three D.C.-based Femme Dommes—Stella, Candor and Julianna—and the submissive men who get what they need: discipline, love and a larger purpose.

About the Justice Series
About the White House Gets A Spanking, book #1
About Spanking the Senator, book #2
~~~~~

Elizabeth SaFleur writes contemporary romance that dares to “go there.” Expect alpha males (and females), seductive encounters, and love. Learn more about her steamy and sexy stories by following her on Amazon and Bookbub.

Meet An Owned, Collared and Well-Educated Feminist

This interview was first posted on LadySmut.com.

A few years ago I met the very lovely, very real BDSM lifestyler, AJ Renard, at the BDSM Writers Con in New York. An owned and collared submissive, AJ is an artist, model, executive and many other things — and she loves dispelling misconceptions about kink, as well as making sure people stay safe as they enter and explore the lifestyle. Her shoe and lingerie collection is to die for. And, look! A special jewelry giveaway from AJ below.

February is known as “love month.” It’s also when a certain movie came out.What a perfect time to sit down with AJ and set the record straight on BDSM and all things kinky — especially if you’re ready to go there.

The lovely AJ Renard, who also models!

ELIZABETH SAFLEUR: AJ! It’s so great you’re here. Can you tell our readers about your BDSM/Kink lifestyle experience?
AJ RENARD: I have been in the lifestyle since my late teens, although I have always been strongly aware of my inclinations. It’s difficult to pinpoint one aspect of the lifestyle that draws me. I am a 24/7 submissive (the bottom in a Power Exchange relationship, where the submissive partner has willingly and consensually handed over some or all decision-making power in their life to their Dominant), which fulfills a deep need in me to serve and please another, and allows me the freedom to trust someone enough to put my life in their hands. I am also fundamentally a bottom (someone who receives the action during a BDSM scene vs. a Top who does the action to someone) in play and sexual encounters; it is intrinsically a part of me, and something I have never not had in my life.

ELIZABETH SAFLEUR: So you’re “all in.” I imagine that surprises people when they meet you.
AJ RENARD: I think one of the things that surprises most people is simply to learn that I am a submissive. There is a broad misconception that being a submissive makes you weak, or a doormat, when, in reality, most Dominants value submissives who have a mind of their own and use it. Being submissive does not mean that I can’t have a great career as an executive, or that I can’t voice my opinion, or that I can’t allow my sassy and rambunctious personality to shine through. It simply means that I live by a set of rules to please my Dominant, and I trust him to make decisions for my benefit and growth, as well as for the health of our relationship.

ELIZABETH SAFLEUR: Is there anything in the BDSM world that the vanilla world gets wrong, consistently?
AJ RENARD: That the lifestyle is sexually-focused. There are absolutely people, myself included, who express their sexuality through kink, but there are also many people who find satisfaction, sanctuary, healing, love, safety, and security in the lifestyle without it being sexual for them.

One of the things that bugs me the most (besides all the other things I’ve been ranting about!) is the impression many people have that BDSM is in direct conflict with feminism. There is a perception that BDSM is all about men controlling and hurting women, or women being docile and submissive (in a pejorative sense of the word). While there are many PE dynamics with a man in the D/ role and a woman in the /s role, those roles, and their activities, are consented to by both parties.

I consider myself a feminist, and I strongly encourage women to choose the path in life that makes them happy and fulfilled. For some, that might be owning a company or it might mean being a stay at home mom. It might mean being a Dominant, and taking on that D/ role yourself. It might mean handing over your power to another. Regardless, to me, being a feminist means finding what makes you feel good and having the freedom to pursue it, and not judging or condemning other women for how or where they find their own happiness. The BDSM lifestyle is where many people find their freedom, and it allows people to explore desires and parts of themselves that they may have been told they should be ashamed of.  I think that is very positive, empowering, and feminist.

dreamstime_l_49695676

ELIZABETH SAFLEUR: My next question could fill a book, but I’m asking anyway! What do you wish people knew about BDSM, in general? There seems to be so much misinformation…
AJ RENARD: Ohhhh my gosh… There’s so much…! One of the biggest things I wish people truly understood is that everything in the lifestyle is based on consent. Consent is discussed, informed, enthusiastic, and can be withdrawn at any time by either partner.

ELIZABETH SAFLEUR: Anytime?
AJ RENARD: Yes. One of the questions I see asked a lot by newcomers (especially by young, inexperienced submissives) is “can my Dominant do X?” My first question back is almost always “did you discuss it and consent to it?” Because that’s what it boils down to. Both parties must consent to what is happening within a relationship or scene.

ELIZABETH SAFLEUR: A certain book (clears throat before saying it includes the words “Fifty” and “Shades”) opened the door to many to the world of BDSM. Yet, many real-world BDSM community members were upset about how BDSM was characterized. What would you tell someone whose only exposure was that movie or series?
AJ RENARD: If someone discovers their kinky side through a work of fiction, I think that’s great! The important thing to remember is that it’s fantasy. Real life is always different, and especially in BDSM (or any other “culture” steeped in protocols and traditions), if you don’t live the lifestyle day to day, it’s difficult to portray it accurately.

A lot of what rubbed the BDSM community the wrong way with that particular book goes back to one of the misconceptions I spoke about earlier – the idea that consent is paramount in this lifestyle. The main character was uninformed about the lifestyle in general, the dynamic she was entering into, and even the types of play they would engage in. How can you consent to something you don’t know will happen? She didn’t consent to the amount of control he took over her life, and when there isn’t consent, what is left is a violation.

I think that erotic fiction and the BDSM genre has made some conversations about sexuality and kinks slightly more acceptable (I say slightly because many of the people I know in the lifestyle would still lose their jobs, friends, and even their family if they were outed- there is still a tremendous amount of fear and bias surrounding the BDSM community), but it has also created a desire for many people to learn about and participate in kink, even when they’re not sure where to start.

ELIZABETH SAFLEUR: So how should someone start?
AJ RENARD: If someone finds their interest piqued by something they read in a BDSM novel and they want to explore more, I would encourage them to start by reading nonfiction. There are some great books and websites out there that will help you get a better idea of what the lifestyle is about, and what you might be interested in.

Editorial Note: SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman and Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon are two staples of BDSM education.

For many people, fantasizing and reading is as far as they want to go, and that’s perfectly fine! For those who want to experiment, I always always always encourage them to find in-person education. Most medium cities have a local scene, and you usually don’t have to look very far away to find an event, class, party, or munch.

Munches are low-pressure social gatherings, usually in a private space at a restaurant or other non-kink venue. There is no play, or kinky activity. From the outside it looks like any other social gathering, and it’s an opportunity for kinksters to meet, socialize, and be amongst like-minded people. Many munches have an appointed person who greets and introduces newcomers to people, so you don’t feel so alone or out of place! You don’t have to be intimidated even if you’re not sure what you’ll talk about, a lot of the time most of the conversations have nothing to do with kink!

Another great way to meet people and dip your toe into the scene is through classes. Many clubs and groups (especially TNG groups- “The Next Generation” groups, for people under 35) will offer skills classes like BDSM 101, intro to impact play, etc. and those are another way to educate yourself and meet new people. Fetlife.com and FindAMunch.com can help you find a local munch, and classes in your area.

47544101_l

“To play safely, you must be informed, about yourself, your partner, and the play in which you are engaging.” ~AJ Renard

ELIZABETH SAFLEUR: Since BDSM has come out of the closet, so to speak, education seems very important right now.
AJ RENARD: I always believe in the power of education! Traditions, skills, safety practices, and knowledge are all highly regarded in the BDSM community, and most of these are not learned overnight, and not instilled in someone without effort.

BDSM education, in my opinion, is incredibly important for two main reasons: Safety and Respect.

The first, and most obvious, is safety. As a bottom, you are often putting your physical and emotional safety in someone else’s hands, as a Top, you are often responsible for them. That is not something to be taken lightly, and even deceptively simple types of play (how hard can it be to tie someone’s hands with some clothesline you have lying around, right?) can often carry risk that you don’t know about. To play safely, you must be informed, about yourself, your partner, and the play in which you are engaging.

ELIZABETH SAFLEUR: So true, so true. I’ve seen some “live experimentation” on a person before and it made me cringe.
AJ RENARD: Many skills also require practice and are techniques that must be learned. If you can’t aim that flogger and hit the spot you intend to, every time, with the intensity and force you want, you need more practice before aiming it at a human being. Additionally, you need to learn how to vet your potential partners, keep yourself safe, asses their skill level, negotiate and set limits for scenes, etc. If you’re completely new to kink, those are things that you will need to learn- in classes, from experienced kinksters, from a mentor, etc.

image7

AJ in rope suspension.

The second biggest reason I think education is important is respect. I often compare it to moving to a foreign country. There is a new culture, language, customs, way of relating, and to respect and honor it you must understand it. I see many newcomers complain (mostly in online groups) that they don’t feel as immediately welcomed as they thought they should have been. What many people fail to realize is that to people who are deeply into the lifestyle, new people can present a potential threat.

To people in the community, newcomers can often mean someone who wants to pass by all the education, safety knowledge, and wisdom experienced players have to offer, and get right to the “exciting (i.e. dangerous) stuff.” It can mean that someone may not take the time to learn the traditions and culture of the community, and may deeply offend someone because they haven’t made the effort to understand the lifestyle, even if they don’t practice it in the same way. There is also the very real danger that someone who doesn’t understand the need for privacy and discretion, who is caught up in the excitement of getting involved in kink, may inadvertently “out” someone- as I mentioned earlier, while some aspects of kink are becoming more socially acceptable, there are serious, real world consequences if some people were to be outed.

dreamstime_l_50620849

“With BDSM being more widely discussed, many more people are trying kink, and many people are doing it dangerously. Unfortunately, those people are the ones who often end up in the news, representing the BDSM community when something goes horribly wrong in their play.” ~AJ Renard

When you enter this community, you will come across people who live their lives in ways you might have never imagined. The kink community is an accepting place where they have found a home, and educating yourself about different lifestyles, types of play and relationships will help you navigate the waters and remain respectful.

ELIZABETH SAFLEUR: Is there anything that erotic fiction authors “get wrong” a lot…or a little?
AJ RENARD: One of my biggest peeves with a lot of BDSM fiction is that most scenes seem to be foreplay for sex. For a huge swath of kinksters, the majority of their scenes do not involve intercourse, and many scenes are not even sexual in nature. It may be a rope scene that is much more about the ties and positions and suspension. It might be fireplay for the sensation and relaxation, it might be a bootblacking scene for the appreciation of the leather and the act of service, and there are PE dynamics that are service-based, with no sexual interaction. Now, I understand the space between a rock and a hard place in which authors find themselves. Yes, they want to accurately portray the lifestyle, but their readers also want to pick up something sexy to read!

The other issue I usually have is the sped up timeline. BDSM takes time. Skills take time to learn, it takes time to build trust, it takes time to vet someone and negotiate. Again, I understand that these are vastly less exciting to read about than someone jumping in and discovering themselves through hot, kinky sex with someone who they instinctively know is safe and skilled and knowledgeable.

ELIZABETH SAFLEUR: Do you believe BDSM is “coming into its own” in the world now? Like we’ve reached a critical mass and there’s greater understanding and acceptance than in decades past? (Is this a stupid question? LOL)
AJ RENARD: Kink, as far as the more generic perception of kink (maybe some leather cuffs, a blindfold, running an ice cube over the body, spanking, maybe some butt stuff), is getting slightly more acceptable. In the same way that Kinsey’s studies found evidence that homosexual acts and behavior were too prevalent in the general population to be considered truly “abnormal,” people are starting to realize that the desire for some level of kink in the bedroom is far more common than we used to think.

However, many kinks, things like ageplay, more extreme Sadism and masochism, consensual slavery, CNC (consensual non-consent, like rape and kidnapping play), and even D/s relationships like the one I have, amongst many, many others, are still looked at with suspicion and derision. People can lose their jobs, custody of their children, and rape cases because of their lifestyle, plus facing discrimination and potential loss of friends, family, and community. Someone might understand giving your spouse a spanking, but it’s still a far leap for many of those people to understand that I truly like being hurt and terrified, to the point that I am sobbing and begging, or that a rape victim can find catharsis and comfort in CNC scenes where they might be able to feel as if they’re rewriting their attack under their own power and control.

12965818_251925155153398_1762563922_n

“It takes a lot of understanding and education for many people to understand those, or that someone can need to be in a little headspace to feel protection and love, or that sometimes it feels really, really good to just be objectified and used as a footstool.” ~AJ Renard

BDSM was only recently removed from the DSM (in the DSM V, published in 2013), and the law has not yet caught up- many activities in BDSM are considered illegal (in the United States you cannot consent to your own bodily harm). De-stigmatizing kink, and no longer classifying it as a mental illness is a start, but there is still a long and difficult road ahead before most of us might be able to live without fear of the consequences of how we express our need to serve, our sexuality, and our love.

(The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, NCSFreedom.org, has been instrumental in many of these advancements. It is a great organization to be involved with or donate to!)

ELIZABETH SAFLEUR: Thanks, AJ. You certainly have given us a lot to think about!

Fantasy Versus Reality in BDSM Fiction – Interview with Dr. Charley Ferrer

February is the Month of Love at Chez SaFleur, and not just because Fifty Shades of Grey makes its cinematic debut. In addition to our uber giveaway here, we’ve invited some special guests to talk love, dominance & submission and erotic fiction. 

Today we feature a very special guest – Dr. Charley Ferrer, a world-renowned Clinical Sexologist and Sex Therapist. Dr. Ferrer also is an author of thirteen books on self-empowerment, women’s sexuality and BDSM. As a BDSM expert, she lectures throughout the U.S., Latin America and China on dominance and submission.

Dr. Ferrer also is CEO and founder of the BDSM Writers Con, which brings together authors and BDSM and D/s lifestyle presenters to provide education on the various nuances of the real BDSM world. Their tag line is “Where reality and fantasy come together!” We couldn’t host a better person than Dr. Ferrer to discuss the topic of truth versus fiction in erotica and erotic romance.

Note: BDSM and D/s sometimes will be referred interchangeably below. This synonymous use is only for editorial brevity sake. 

Welcome Dr. Ferrer and thank you for being here.

ES: The BDSM and D/s lifestyle finally has cracked the mainstream – being discussed in the media, at cocktail parties, and in my case, even corporate boardrooms in Washington, D.C. What do you think has caused this new openness to discuss the lifestyle? It can’t all be the Fifty Shades phenomenon.

Dr. Ferrer: Fifty Shades has opened a door. But people have been pushing against that door for years, not knowing how to open it. Many people have been curious about BDSM but haven’t been able to define that curiosity and haven’t felt comfortable in exposing their interest. 

Yet, D/s exists in our lives everywhere. People just haven’t named it as such. Have you ever given a hickey or gotten one? Why did you do that? It’s because you’re telling the world “this person is mine, don’t touch.” People will even brag about their hickeys, like a sub can often brag about their marks. They are proud to show they “belong” to someone. It’s the same thing in D/s, though the marks might go everywhere. <laugh> 

Another analogy is why put a wedding or engagement ring on a person? It’s a symbol or stamp of belonging. The vanilla world has rings. The D/s world has collars. We are practicing the same behavior but calling it two different things. In truth D/s has been in everyone’s life from the time they were born.



ES: As someone who been active in the BDSM scene for many years, do you believe the understanding of the BDSM lifestyle and dominance and submission is then growing more accurate or less? 

Dr. Ferrer: So much information is available. But too many people are turning to the wrong sources. Many people only see BDSM and D/s at the surface level due to what is right in front of them, like the Fifty Shades books. In particular, that book portrayed lifestylers as people who must be fixed. Yet, truthfully, this lifestyle is full of healthy people exploring themselves.

Eighty percent of the new people exploring the lifestyle are engaged in the “candy store effect,” enjoying new toys and dressing up. The other twenty percent of new people are dabbling deeper and asking themselves, what does wearing (or giving) a collar mean? Do I want it? Where should I look? Where would I research? Those are the people that aren’t in it just for the thrill of the moment but because it calls to their fundamental nature.  

The question to ask [when interest is piqued] is this: Do you want to stay on the surface or do you want to investigate and explore the lifestyle and explore you – because that’s what you’re doing in this life. 

In BDSM, you’re connecting with another person. But you’re also connecting with yourself.  It’s not just about a spanking. It’s about what it means to you and what that spanking opens up in you. If you kneel in front of Dominant, what does that mean? How do you feel? 

ES: Let’s talk about BDSM in erotic fiction. Real-world BDSM lifestylers want writers to depict the scene accurately. But, honestly, sometimes scenes can be interesting to witness as watching paint dry (unless you’re involved, of course). I can see why some writers might “spice it up.” Don’t readers want the fantasy anyway? 

Dr. Ferrer: We all want to read books for some fantasy. But keep the fantasy balanced with some reality – such as how the relationships unfold. I see too many books where the writer obviously isn’t comfortable with BDSM. For instance, a female submissive in a story will see a Dominant they are attracted to and just throw themselves at his feet. That’s not how it happens, and scenes like that give the wrong impression of the lifestyle.

ES: So, where’s the balance?  

Dr. Ferrer: First, remember that though you’re writing fantasy, this is an actual subculture and sexual orientation and lifestyle you are portraying. Please show respect to the men and women who embrace it.  Second, know what you’re writing. Are you writing harder-edged erotica or softer erotic romance? Are you including hard-edge play like consensual rape scenes or even nonconsensual scenes, or softer D/s romantic stories? If you’re writing harder erotic stories, the stakes are higher for being accurate. 

It also depends on your audience, who you’re writing for. You can include billionaires and fancy clubs, but let people know your book is fantasy and that you’re taking liberties with the lifestyle. Too many authors declare their D/s books as “this is how people are in this lifestyle.” 

(Note from ES: I’ve talked with people in the lifestyle who’ve declared their way of engaging BDSM is the way, too. But that’s another blog post for another time.)

ES: What have you read in BDSM fiction that has you cringe?

Dr. Ferrer: Too often I see two kinds of Dominants: the Dom who knows everything and the Dom who doesn’t know anything.

Please don’t have your Doms be omnipotent. That’s a stereotypes that gives the wrong impression. Dominants don’t know everything automatically. They aren’t psychic. They need the submissive’s input. They can be wrong or make mistakes. Doms are humans. In reality, BDSM relationships go wrong when one person believes the other one to be perfect. 

Then there is the Dom who is insecure and second guesses his or her every move. They don’t know where or when to push.  

Rarely do I read about two Dominants talking and checking in with each other. But this happens in real life. Doms mentor and train each other and help each other resolve issues with submissives; just as friends do in the vanilla realm. And it’s not just how to throw a whip better. We get into the psychology. 

In the erotic fiction genre, there aren’t many books that portray dominant women well.  They treat all Femme Dommes like they are pro-Dominatrix in a club. And those female Dominants are portrayed as whores, only in the scene for the money, and secretly submissive. Or as in the case of a ménage, she’ll have another lover who’s “her Dom” while she dominants the submissive male. 

Another error is Female Dominants switch midway through the story suddenly become submissive. Why can’t she just be dominant?  Woman are strong…really! *smiles*

ES: What about tropes? They exist in fiction often because they help readers identify with the story. Yet the BDSM community is so varied. I have yet to meet a person who fits a stereotype in this lifestyle. What happens if a writer is accused of writing someone that “couldn’t be true” because he or she didn’t fit a stereotypical trope?

Dr. Ferrer: The idea is to make your characters human. You could include some very simple words to give that person a unique persona to make sure they are not your stereotypical alpha Dom and show he or she is a realistic individual. 

Interesting pieces to play with in your stories are around what the dominance brings to the relationship. What does the sub get? What does the Dom get? Sharing, being vulnerable, growing stronger, these are all themes around opening one’s self. 

Whenever a submissive man comes to me and says “I want to be yours, connect with you.” My first question is why? Why am I different? What are you bringing to me? The truth is, you’re bringing to me what your submission means to you. You’re opening up a side of yourself you don’t share with other people. 

It isn’t just what the Dom wants; it’s also what the sub wants to give. Then, the dominant wants to take the sub to another level. So, how does it make you feel to take them there? What’s in it emotionally for the dominant? 

These are interesting things to explore in writing. Get into what happens between the two people because there is a reason why people are into BDSM to begin with.

ES: What about education? Is it the responsibility of an author to say, include safe sex talk or BDSM education?

Dr. Ferrer: Teach but don’t preach. Protocol is important in real life, so you’ll want to include some of it in your writing. But, you can teach readers about real-world BDSM by setting up proper scenes without having your characters say certain things out loud. If you have a character kneeling and your Dom wants her to have a proper pose, he might run his hand up her spine to straighten her. This is a “show don’t tell” moment educating the audience that there is a preferred pose. You don’t need to go into why you need certain things, such as a safeword. Just ensure there is one!  



ES: Any other advice for authors of BDSM and D/s stories?

Dr. Ferrer: My first advice is to write a story you want to read. Don’t write for someone else. Write for you and your story will resonate with the other millions of people who think like you. If you’re just writing to a publisher’s specifications, it will show. And if you don’t believe in like BDSM don’t write it! Also, write well rounded characters, and don’t have someone be broken, just to be broken. 

ES: What would you like to see explored more in erotic fiction involving BDSM?

Dr. Ferrer: Sensuality. The BDSM Writers Con will have a session on the topic of building sensuality into your books. If an author isn’t comfortable with the BDSM topic, it shows in the writing, especially around the lack of sensuality. 

For instance, a whole page could be written on how a Dom connected with his or her sub before cuffing them to a St. Andrews Cross. The Dom could brush against them as they leaned the sub against the cross. He kisses her wrist before locking the cuff.  Make it more sensual, because in reality, it is. If someone hasn’t actually engaged in a St. Andrews Cross scene, they might not get those nuances. It would be like telling a virgin that sex feels great. So, get educated and be sensual. 



ES: Speaking of BDSM Writers Con, was there a pivotal moment when you thought, we have to start bringing readers, writers and BDSM experts together?

Dr. Ferrer: I’ve been teaching and educating for almost twenty years one-on-one and to groups. But a few years ago I read one of Joey W. Hill’s books. It was so well done, I had her on my radio program. It was from that interaction that the idea was born to get writers involved in writing about BDSM more accurately.

BDSM Writers Con is the only event educating authors and writers about Dominance and submission as well as marketing and writing craft. Authors and readers receive valuable information on various aspects of the D/s lifestyle during this four-day conference. Cecilia Tan is our keynote speaker this year, and we’ll have dozens of live, hands-on demos, a BDSM Club night and a book fair. Plus, we’ll be announcing the winners of our Golden Flogger Awards for best BDSM book of the year, sponsored by De Tail Toys.  

Many thanks to Dr. Ferrer for stopping by and helping us become better writers of BDSM erotic fiction – and perhaps helping educate a few readers who now know what to look for.

Note to readers:  BDSM Writers Con is for you, too! If you’d like to learn more about this lifestyle or just want to meet some of your favorite BDSM writers, it’s a welcoming and safe place to attend.

Check out their Kinky Chats to hear from various BDSM writers here.

New Free Bonus Excerpt, Interview and Giveaway To Honor The “Love Month” 

Picture‘Tis the month of romance. Valentine’s Day and a plethora or new erotic fiction debuts are sure to make February a little warmer for us all.

In honor of this love-filled month, we’ll be “giveaway central” at Chez SaFleur.

In addition to our usual weekly giveaways, we’re spreading a little extra love this month. What’s happening in February:

Find Your Next Great Read Scavenger Hunt
We’re supporting this wonderful annual happening by Night Owl Reviews. Find great authors and books during this giveaway event. Read book blurbs and get entered to win BIG prizes.
Here’s how it works:

  • Click here to start the hunt for your next great read.
  • You will be taken to the giveaway page where you’ll see a list of books in the contest entry form. 
  • Choose one (or many!).
  • Read their book blurb (click on NOR Author Page) and fill in the missing word on the entry form.
  • Click “enter” and now you’ve earned a chance to win Amazon Gift Cards and eBooks.

New Bonus Writings and a Very Special Interview
Every wonder how Jonathan’s interview with Peter Snow went? (If you haven’t read LOVELY yet, you probably haven’t. But, we can rectify that right here, right now. Subtle, huh?) A free excerpt of the interview between Peter and Jonathan will appear here in February, just for you!

Also, we’ll be posting an interview with a very, very special person. Hint: I met her at the BDSM Writers Conference. If you’ve ever wanted to meet your favorite BDSM erotica and erotic romance authors, this is the event to attend. It’s fun, educational and friendly, and a must-attend if you love this genre.


  
Lastly, in honor of a “certain movie” coming out soon, I give you my own version of a famous line from the novel that inspired said cinematic event.
 
Picture

 
May February bring you lots of hugs . . . and great reads to inspire and thrill you.
XO

Ten Things I Learned at the BDSM Writers Con

I spent four days in New York City last week with about 100 writers, readers and BDSM lifestyle enthusiasts, all in the name of better writing. I thought I knew about the BDSM world. But until the BDSM Writers Con, I’m not sure I fully grasped the depth of this unique and generous community. Below are just a few lessons learned.

1. The BDSM Writers Con was by far the best conference to attend if you write anything with BDSM elements. The discussions about the BDSM lifestyle, the various kinks and activities and real-life experiences provided far more insight and intelligence to this world than googling could ever achieve.

2. Until you’ve gone to a BDSM dungeon or play party, you can’t fully understand what goes on there. During the Con we got a private tour of NYC’s longest-running BDSM Club, Paddles, and attended a NY Fetish Tribe play party at a private club. You’ll have to message me for details. <Wink>

3. The BDMS community is giving and accepting of other’s proclivities in a way I’ve not experienced elsewhere. The moral majority and right wing politicos could learn a thing or two about forgiveness, love and discipline from this community.

4. The “reality” of BDSM isn’t always pretty. But it is beautiful. The experience of watching consenting adults engage in such activity was a privilege I don’t take lightly.

5. The BDSM world is as varied as the vanilla world. But it’s hard to grasp the depth of possibilities without experiencing or witnessing BDSM in action. For instance, it never occurred to me that the violet wand could produce orgasms – or would melt nylon stockings.

6. Speaking of the violet wand, our demo man, international violet wand master, Travelling Fool, gave many attendees a Very Good Time from the device. I dubbed his table at the Tribe’s play party, “Orgasm Central.”

7. Observing fire play, knife play, intimidation, “take-downs,” electrical play, bondage, suspension, spanking and more provides a level of sensory input that BDSM writers need to encounter. I picked up a number of details that will give new life to scenes that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise.

8. Safewords, limits and aftercare are real. They aren’t made up by writers to make BDSM palatable to the masses. I witnessed a young male Dom give his sub aftercare that lasted as long as their flogging scene on the St. Andrew’s Cross.

9. New York City still has the best food in the world. But I’d really like the BDSM Writers Con to go to Washington, DC next. As I’ve always said, it could use the discipline – and get a better handle on love and forgiveness.

10. No matter where the BDSM Writers Con unfolds, I’m going back next year. But do you think I could bring my dog*? I missed him.

*Side story. During the last day of the conference, Husband and I received furious text messages from our house sitter. The dog had tangled with a skunk in the middle of the night. Yeah for us. Now four days later and he still smells! I wonder if there is a skunk fetish? Hmmm…